Rampage Review: My Monkey and Me: A Dwayne Johnson Story

Rampage, loosely based off the arcade game by the same name, was just about everything I expected from the sloppy trailers. That being a generic (yet overly complex) plot involving a gorilla, mixed with hokey acting from the entire cast (especially Dwayne Johnson), all leading up to a forty-minute fight resulting in the destruction of the city.

If the film was truly committed to only being this typical, big-budget action movie, then why not go all the way with it? The audience is introduced to many unnecessary side characters, villains, and plot details that only hinder the true intention of Rampage. That being to get a giant gorilla, lizard, and wolf into a big city and have them destroy everything in sight. And since the main point of Rampage was to accomplish this, it would’ve been better to have the entire film be one enormous fight sequence. The audience viewing this doesn’t care how the monsters get into the city, only that there is destruction and action abundant in the product.

Yet, Rampage couldn’t even get this simple idea right. The film holds the audience hostage for an hour before the real action begins, trying to mimic films like Rise of the Planet of the Apes and the Godzilla remake. Except where those movies had a little class and excitement attached to them, Rampage just assaults moviegoers with “stuff”. Boring, nonsensical, stuff.

Rampage was right on the money in terms of my expectations, except it was somehow even lazier than anticipated. It wears all the tropes of bloated action movies shamelessly on its sleeves, making no attempt to put a creative twist on conventional storytelling. Sometimes it’s funny how poorly glued together the film is, however it’s mostly just painful and predictable to watch. The most enjoyable part of the film is Dwayne Johnson’s relationship with the gorilla named George, which occasionally dipped into bad touch territory. Although, goofy scenes like this are frequently offset by large buildings being destroyed, wounded people emerging from the wreckage, and smoke and rubble everywhere. Naturally taking my mind to places I would rather not think about when watching a movie about Dwayne Johnson and a gorilla.

If you like the explosions, the destruction, and the PG-13 violence and swearing, then by all means get your fix with Rampage. Anyone looking for a little more meat to their movies will have to check elsewhere.

The Verdict: D

-Zachary Flint

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle Review

Anticipating what I assumed to be a distasteful soft reboot of a fun, lighthearted adventure film, I expected the worst from Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. However, to my pleasant surprise (and curious confusion), Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle shares little resemblance to its supposed source material. Instead of a murderous board game that forces players to partake in increasingly difficult tasks, this involves the hip millennial version of the whole thing.

Four clichéd high school students are sucked into a video game while in detention. Once inside the video game, each high schooler takes on a completely different persona, kind of like an in-game avatar. These avatars are played by Jack Black, Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, and Karen Gillan, who all go off on a vague MacGuffin plot to stop a one-dimensional bad guy. Basically, get the thing, put it in the thing, so it will do the thing.

Jumanji is about as ridiculous and uninspired as you can possibly get, and thankfully the film knows that, making the absolute best of its lame and outrageous premise.

It’s obvious the cast is having a lot of fun shooting Jumanji, and that genuine enthusiasm easily rubs off on the audience. The journey these characters embark on and the lessons they learn along the way was where I derived most of my enjoyment.

Another big part of the film aside from the characters is the humor, which in my opinion was a tad overplayed. Some jokes work very well at first and get a good laugh, only to be drawn out for too long until they become tiresome and annoying. Other scenes intended to be humorous were incredibly childish and tonally inconsistent, leading me to assume that Jumanji had no clear audience it wanted to appeal to.

Jumanji’s strongest suit wasn’t in its humor, but in the genuine moments shared between the protagonists, who were so goofy and animated that I couldn’t help but join in on the fun. The cheesy and poorly written aspects of Jumanji all teeter precariously on “so bad it’s good”. Altogether, I think there is more amusement to be had in Jumanji’s faults than boredom or irritation.

The Verdict: C+

-Zachary Flint